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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28441029">familiar faces</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/possumdnp/pseuds/possumdnp'>possumdnp</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>2011, Awkward Conversations, Established Relationship, M/M, Mild Sexual Content</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:15:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28441029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/possumdnp/pseuds/possumdnp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil recognizes the delivery guy from... somewhere. And Dan is incredibly amused by it.</p><p>(Or, a fic inspired by the story in their Stereo show where Phil recognized their Tesco delivery guy from an adult film)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dan Howell/Phil Lester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>100</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>familiar faces</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I couldn’t resist writing <a href="https://natigail.tumblr.com/post/638874870613229568/the-tesco-delivery-guy-incident-291220">this</a> moment out! Also, someone else on tumblr pointed out that Dan seems to say that this incident happened in their Manchester flat, so that’s where this fic is set! (there was a fair bit of static on their Stereo show when he was talking, so maybe that's inaccurate, idk). Hope you enjoy, ahaha.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Phil is in his coziest, ugliest pyjamas, ready to relax for the evening, when the doorbell rings.</p><p>“You get it,” Dan says. “It’s probably Tesco.”</p><p>“No you,” Phil says, poking his foot at him.</p><p>“I’ll give you a fuckin’ back massage if I don’t have to get my ass off of this sofa right now.”</p><p>And really, with an offer like that, Phil can’t possibly refuse. Helping Dan film a video for his channel and moving their camera equipment around their little flat has left him exhausted and achy. A back massage from his favourite person is <em>definitely</em> worth putting the milk and crisps away for. With a groan, he hoists himself off the sofa and pads over to the front door of their flat.</p><p>“Delivery for Howell?” the delivery guy says.</p><p>“Ah, yes. That’s ours,” Phil says. “Thank you.” He takes the grocery bags, then looks properly at the guy for the first time. And, well. He’s <em>cute.</em> He’s wearing a bit of eyeliner around his hazel eyes, and he’s got a shaggy emo haircut. And despite wearing an ill-fitting Tesco vest, he’s clearly <em>very</em> fit.</p><p>The thing is, he looks so familiar, and Phil knows it’s going to bother him all evening if he doesn’t ask. “Do I know you from somewhere? Did we, like, have a class together at sixth form or university together, maybe?”</p><p>To his surprise, the guy starts laughing. “Nah, mate. It’s probably from the gay porn films I’ve been in.” He tilts his head. “You know, I’ve never actually had anyone recognize me before. Congrats on being the first.”</p><p>“No, no!” Phil stammers, shocked by the guy’s bluntness. “I’m sure it’s not from, er. <em>That.</em> You’ve just got, er. A familiar-looking face, I’m sure that’s it.”</p><p>“Sure.” The guy’s still grinning widely. “That’s definitely it. Have a good day, then. Enjoy your groceries!”</p><p>“I-” Phil says to the guy’s retreating back. And ass. Which looks <em>unfairly</em> good in those Tesco uniform trousers.</p><p>His heart sinks into his stomach. He’s <em>definitely</em> seen that ass in a porno before. Which means that the guy was totally right about where Phil knows him from. And now their Tesco delivery guy <em>totally</em> knows that he jerks off to gay emo porn.</p><p>His hands shaking a little, Phil takes the bags of groceries to the kitchen and starts putting them away. His brain feels like it’s full of panicked static, like it always is after he’s been caught in an awkward social situation. You’d think that now that he’s a fully-grown adult in his mid-twenties, he’d be able to handle himself around other people. Apparently not.</p><p>Once everything’s put away, he returns to the comfort and safety of the sofa.</p><p>“I have just had a <em>very</em> traumatic experience,” Phil says, flopping right next to Dan and putting his head on Dan’s shoulder. "I should not be allowed to interact with other humans."</p><p>“How did you manage that?” Dan says, his hand going to Phil’s knee to stroke it soothingly. “You were only talking to the guy for like, two minutes.”</p><p>“So I thought I recognized the delivery guy from somewhere. You’d think it’d be from university or something, right? Like, I met so many people at uni; it didn’t seem like a bad guess. So I asked him, and it turns out that I had recognized him from a <em>porno.”</em></p><p>Dan shrieks out a hyena laugh. “Oh my god. Only you.”</p><p>“It was <em>traumatizing,</em> Dan!” Phil says. “I was just trying to make polite conversation with him! I didn’t want him to know that I’d jerked off to him before.” He buries his face further into Dan’s shoulder. “We can <em>never</em> order from that Tesco again. Or else, I’m making you answer the door next time. And every time until we move far, far away from here.”</p><p>“Poor you,” Dan says, pressing a kiss to Phil’s hair. “I’ll totally answer the door for you.”</p><p>“My hero.”</p><p>“So.” Dan shifts, forcing Phil to lift his head from his shoulder. “Now you’ve gotta share the details. Was he hot? What pornos was he in?”</p><p>Phil sighs and sits up. “Yeah, he was proper hot. I mean, he was an emo guy with a great ass. What’s not to like?” He bites his lip. “Not gonna lie, he was more or less my exact type.”</p><p>Dan raises an eyebrow. “Should me and my flat pancake ass be jealous?”</p><p>“I love you and your ass just fine,” Phil says. “And who’s to say hot emo porn guy’s great ass wasn’t also flat? Maybe that is my exact type.”</p><p>“Flat ass fetishist.”</p><p>Phil leans over to kiss him, rolling them onto their sides so that he can reach down and grope at Dan’s perfectly fine ass. It’s just starting to get good when Dan pulls away.</p><p>“Don’t avoid the other question, Phil. I wanna know what pornos he was in. I <em>need</em> to know.”</p><p>“I dunno the exact names or anything. I just maybe remember one of them. There were these two emo guys, him and another guy. They kissed the entire time they were fucking, and it was really hot.” He smiles despite himself. “I mean, it was actually pretty vanilla, nothing kinky or anything. But it didn’t seem as quite fake as a lot of porn does. It looked like they were actually in love.” He meets Dan’s eyes. “I watched it all the time a few years ago, that year we spent all that time apart, ‘cause maybe he looked like you a little. And I missed you.”</p><p>Dan’s eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “He looks like me?”</p><p>“Maybe not so much, now that I’ve seen him in real life. But on-screen, from an artsy angle? Yeah.”</p><p>Dan kisses him again, much harder this time. “That’s hot.”</p><p>“Really?” Phil pulls back. “I thought you’d be jealous.”</p><p>“Mate. I have this image of you jerking off to emo porn in my head. All I feel right now is <em>insanely</em> turned on.”</p><p>Phil can feel the evidence of that against his hip bone, but he chooses not to comment on that right now. Instead, he kisses at Dan’s neck and whispers, “Is it weird that I’m feeling nostalgic about a porno?”</p><p>“Not if you think it’s weird that I want to go find that exact video so that I can watch you jerk off, just like you used to.”</p><p>“Dan.” Phil stares at him. “We’re <em>never</em> gonna be able to order from this Tesco again, you know that right?”</p><p>Dan pulls him in and kisses him, hot and heavy. “Honestly, worth it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Reblog on <a href="https://possumdnp.tumblr.com/post/638979208795897856/familiarfaces">tumblr!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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